This year, we saw some of the most historic events of our time... A black/bi-racial President was inaugurated into the White House, whose parents' marriage was illegal in parts of the United States at the time of his birth. The music industry and the world wept as we lost one of the century's greatest Pop icons, gone before his time at a scant 50 years of age. I graduated Cum Laude, Phi Beta Kappa from Douglass College, Rutgers University on May 21st 2009, with hopes and dreams in my pocket and eyes set for London... Okay, so maybe that was not a ground breaking event for the rest of the world, but still, historic for me all the same!As the year winds down to a close, I find myself looking back and contemplating my triumphs, my losses, and lessons learned. Within a few weeks of each other, I was at my best and worst. I discovered great new things about myself, including my capacity to be empathetic and to put myself aside to console others, my resilience in the face of new challenges, and my determination to achieve a goal I set out for myself, despite lacking support.
Those who were not so lucky saw me at my worst: inconsiderate, belligerent, depressed, reckless, pig headed, insufferable... it was terrible. I lost a good friend because of it, though in truth, she doled out a fair share of insufferability in turn... I realize now, I shouldn't have returned it. The lesson is learned: I have to be the bigger person, especially when I don't want to be.
More not-so-greats: Something that I thought was immeasurably solid deteriorated before my eyes, destroyed by nothing more than whispers and lies... But it only invigorates me and motivates me to find something better for myself.
I left all that I knew in America for a country where I had no family or friends... Willfully isolated myself from everyone (it was a necessary step; I was a terrible person when I left, and I needed time and distance to work on me). I came to London to pursue a degree that doesn't resemble what I studied at Rutgers at all... from Food Chemistry to Biomedical Engineering. I knew it would be different, but it's a bit of a curve even for me... Three months into everything, I love my Masters program, my coursemates have been great and so helpful in getting me through that first dreadful semester, and I've found such wonderful people everywhere I go. They've helped to see me through this rocky transition period, especially my adoptive parents, Jennifer and Emmanuel.
It's been three months and *sigh* I don't want to leave...
Is it silly to believe that God might have directed me here? If you know anything about me, while a believer in God, I'm ridiculously pragmatic about most things. I don't like to say that God is responsible for doing a lot of things for us. Truth is, God sometimes has nothing to do with it, and people are just selling themselves short. If you work hard for something and the opportunities are there, that's why it happened, not because God chose you, not because God blessed you. There's usually a chain of traceable events that precede an accomplishment and though it's nice to give God glory, I don't think it was Him that got you there. I'll stick behind that statement 99.999% of the time...
But there always that 0.001 % of the time that I'm not quite sure about that reasoning... There's something a bit divine about the past few months. It was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time, though the events guiding me here seemed haphazard and erratic at best.
So hmmm... A new decade, a new year, a new lease on life. So much growing to do, so much fun to be had, so much to look forward to, so much to plan for...
Yours Truly
LondonFoundGirl
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